


Saphael Drabbles

by smolraph



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Stand Alone, basically all the prompts i've filled on tumblr, i'll keep adding in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 11,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolraph/pseuds/smolraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Interim Chapter President and his envoy/adviser/boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. tell me a secret

Simon has started to spend a lot of his time with Raphael. At first it’s from necessity, because he’s the only one in the hotel who will talk to him, but after awhile Simon starts to actually enjoy his company. Simon is in no way stupid, he knows he rambles, and he knows it’s annoying. He can’t help it though, and years of being friends with Clary had only made it worse, because she enabled him with a smile on her face.

Raphael on the other hand, well Raphael was different. He didn’t exactly enable Simon, but he also didn’t leave the room when Simon started on one of his rants. Instead he pretended to ignore him. Simon knew he was only pretending because sometimes he threw in a sarcastic comment, or his eyes flickered up to watch him gesticulate. Sometimes Simon even thought he saw the ghost of a smile.

Simon’s point was that he talked a lot, and Raphael listened… a lot.

There was something about Raphael’s voice that Simon loved though, secretly hanging on to every word that left his mouth. He loved the soft accent that was still present as spoke, and especially loved it when he slipped into Spanish. It was like music to Simon’s ears. That’s why he wished the other would speak more often.

It’s not that he never said anything, Simon was well used to his biting jibes by now, it’s just that he had a way of speaking without revealing a single thing about himself. Simon didn’t even know how old he was, though from listening to others in the hotel he wasn’t as old as Simon had first thought. He’d try to ask once, when he’d first moved in, only for Raphael to roll his eyes and tell him to mind his own business.

They were out checking up on apparently rogue vampire when Simon finally plucked up the courage to do something about it. 

“Raph..”, Simon said, knowing he’d caught the others attention from the annoyed huff he let out as surveyed the dock. A body had been found not far from here, drained of blood. ‘A mundane’ a part of his mind that sounded like suspiciously like Alec echoed.

“Tell me a secret”, Simon said, watching the way the other sucked in a breath, jaw ticking sideways. For someone so mysterious he sure had a lot of tells. Tells that Simon was unfortunately becoming intimately aware of.

“Fledgling, do stop pestering me for a moment so I can focus on what we’re actually meant to be doing”, Raphael replied finally, and Simon was almost impressed by how much irritation he managed to pack into one sentence. Almost being the key word.

“Come on!”, Simon exclaimed, jogging after the other as he began to stride away without another word. Raphael always had a way of being difficult, it made Simon want to roll his eyes and pull the other back, a gesture that would probably get his head eaten off. Or not, Raphael wasn’t half as intimidating to Simon as he thought he was.

Raphael was several strides ahead of him as they entered a maze of shipping containers. He didn’t notice the movement from above until it was too late, but thankfully Simon was there. He darted forward without thinking, seeing the surprise on Raphael’s face as he tackled the rogue vampire to the floor.

Simon was still getting used to his power, and was instantly thrown off by the feral vampire. He didn’t have to worry though, pushing up onto his elbows to see Raphael snap it’s neck. Simon flinched at it fell to the ground inches away from him, eyes snapping up to take in the other’s pained expression.

“There’s nothing we could of done from him”, Raphael said quietly, sounding human for the first time since Simon had known him.

Slowly Simon pushed up, making his way around the body between them to stand by the others side. He hesitated for a moment, before placing a comforting hand on the others shoulders, both their eyes on the floor.

“My mother.. she, she gave me this cross to protect me from the damned”, Raphael said suddenly, hand clutching helplessly at the golden chain, “if only she could see me now”.

Simon’s hand tightened on his shoulder, upset by how sad the other sounded. He was pliant as Simon twisted him around. He looked younger somehow, and it hurt Simon, he never wanted to see someone so proud look so broken.

“You’re not damned”, Simon said, almost harshly, “you’re not”.

“Simon”, Raphael sighed, hand falling from the chain, hiding the burn mark that was likely there. Simon didn’t let him finish, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. The other tensed for a moment, frightening Simon, before he seemed to sag in his grip.

“I’ll never judge you”, Simon whispered, thumb brushing almost absentmindedly against his cheekbone as he cupped the others face. It wasn’t the most romantic first kiss, but Simon made a promise to the other there and then, that’d he protect all of his secrets. It was worth it for the smile on Raphael’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be posting all my prompts fill here, you can find me on tumblr under the same username!


	2. boo

Raphael was a god fearing man, and he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve this. Simon had gotten it into his stupid, fledgling brain that scaring him would be ‘fun’. Raphael had made an offhand comment when Simon was talking about horror movies, about how he never found that kind of thing scary. 

What he had found scary was the look that had appeared on Simon’s face, a smirk that should of been reserved for people who didn’t cry watching tv shows.

Not even several variations of no had wiped the look off the others face. 

What followed were some of the most painful days of Raphael’s damned existence. Simon had taken it upon himself to jump out at him during the most ridiculous moments. It didn’t matter if he was alone or not, he didn’t seem to care as he popped out from behind furniture. 

One particularly memorable one had been in front of a visiting clan leader from Washington. Raphael had been horrified, probably would of been red in the face with embarrassment if he was still mundane, but thankfully she had laughed it off and ruffled Simon’s hair, calling him ‘cute’.

Simon had quickly hightailed it out of the room afterwards, creating a game of cat and mouse that had lasted nearly two days. Raphael made sure he’d remember that particular rant for years to come.

There’d been a few days of peace after that, lulling Raphael into a false sense of security. He should of known Simon was too stubborn to let it go.

He’d snuck in Raphael’s room while he’d slept, slowly climbing on the bed and whispering “boo”.

It’s taken nearly an hour for the bruise on Simon’s face to heal after Raphael had punched him.


	3. have i entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?

Simon was convinced Raphael would look even ~~prettier~~ handsome if he smiled. He was torn between telling him that and keeping his mouth shut because it sounded creepy. He didn’t mean it like that though, he just wanted to know what Raphael would look like with a smile crinkling the corner of his eyes - preferably without fangs.

He still thought about it sometimes, when there was a lull in conversation and the two were sitting together. He even tried harder then, to tell Raphael a funny story that might make the mask he always had on crack.

It became his mission, to see the other smile.

He started trying harder to befriend the other, hanging around when he could be with Clary, because deep down he actually wanted to get closer to the other. Simon secretly counted each twitch upwards of the others lips as a win.

Finally, when Simon wasn’t expecting it, the moment happened.

He’d been regaling Raphael with a particularly embarrassing high school story (he’d long stopped being nervous around the other), and pacing around the room restlessly.

Raphael was staring over the back of the couch at him with an almost fond expression on his face. Simon’s say almost because he wasn’t sure what to think of the slight smirk that always seemed to grace his face. 

He wasn’t paying attention as he talked, mouth moving a mile a minute. He didn’t notice the potted plant in front of him until it was too late. He fell almost in slow motion, landing face first on the ground with a unmanly squeak. He was just cursing his luck when he heard a muffled chuckle.

Simon instantly rolled on to his back, staring up at Raphael from he leaned over the back of the couch, the chandelier creating a halo around his head. All of this was enough of an image to make to Simon blink for a second, but his mouth fell open as he saw the smile on the others face.

“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”, Simon asked dazedly, already over having embarrassed as he watched Raphael cover his mouth with a pale hand.

“You just smiled!”, Simon exclaimed, jumping up off the ground and pointing an almost accusing finger at the other. Raphael’s face was blank again as he lowered his hand, raising one of his eyebrows in a move he’d obviously perfected over the years. 

“No I didn’t”, Raphael sighed, sounding put upon, “you obviously hit your head too hard”.

He continued to deny it for weeks to come, suffering through several Youtube compilations of people falling over. It didn’t really matter though, when Simon managed to get another smile from him, and then another until he struggled not to smile in the others presence.


	4. you lied to me

Raphael had taken it upon himself to look after the new fledgling, he didn’t want to end up like Camille, and a part of him was growing attached to the other. Once he’d gotten over the original horror of becoming a vampire he’d reverted back to the guy he’d first met, with added confidence.

He was one of the most untainted people Raphael had ever met.

So Raphael was the one who trained him and taught him about what it meant to be a child of the Night. 

Unfortunately he wasn’t always able to make time for the other, busy with politics and other members of the clan. He always did his best to keep an eye on the other though, noticing the way he isolated himself inside the hotel.

His hardest job was making sure Simon ate.

He had a ritual of asking the other everyday, and making sure Simon said he had before he went around his business. It was on one particularly busy day that he’d asked Simon if he’d drank and the other had said he was about to. Raphael had taken in the drained look on his face, mouth opening to say more when one of the others called for him.

He’d been caught up for most of the night, and when he finally returned to the hotel Simon was no where to be seen.

He didn’t know what made him go to the others room, almost like he was dragged there by an invisible force.

A gasp slipped out of his mouth when he saw Simon curled up on top of his bed, tremors shaking through his body. Raphael was by his side in a second.

“Simon”, Raphael said, “Simon what happened?”.

Simon didn’t answer him straight away, sluggishly turning to look up at him through clouded eyes. Raphael instantly recognized the hunger, taking in the fangs pressing into his bottom lips.

“You lied to me”, Raphael chastised softly, something compelling him to brush back the hair that fell on Simon’s forehead. The other clutching onto him broke something in Raphael.

“Here”, Raphael said, shrugging off his jacket and offering his wrist to the other. It’d take too long to go downstairs and get blood, and he didn’t want to leave the Simon’s side.

It showed how far gone the other was when he didn’t even protest, fangs digging into his skin instantly.

Raphael grimaced as he watched the other feed, telling himself to explain proper feeding etiquette to the other at a later date. First he had to explain to him why he had to eat.

When Simon had his fill he fell back against the bed, chest rising and falling in a parody of the living. Raphael waited patiently for him to calm down, tutting when he saw the blood smeared across his chin.

“Why did you lie to me?”, he asked finally, watching intently as Simon turned his head away, but not quick enough to hide the pain that flashed across his face.

“It’s disgusting… I’m disgusting”, Simon whispered, words muffled by the sheets. Raphael’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, remembering the night he’d been turned with painful clarity. Simon still hadn’t accepted that he wasn’t a monster.

“No you’re not”, Raphael replied, watching as Simon turned his head around to stare at him, something akin to hope appearing on his face.

“You’re one of the purest people I know Simon Lewis”, Raphael said, almost feeling his dead heart skip a beat, “and if takes the rest of eternity I will prove it to you”.


	5. please, don't leave?

There’d been several moments where Raphael had wished Simon would just leave him alone, but when it looked like it might actually become a reality, he panicked.

He realized that he didn’t want Simon to leave the clan, to leave him.

When he’d brought it up Raphael had felt his stomach drop, back to the other as he tried to school his expression. His hands trembled as he crossed his arms, turning to level Simon with a glare.

“What do you mean, move out?”, Raphael growled, ignoring the fact he probably sounded too upset by the idea. He dared the fledgling to say something.

“As in leave the hotel permanently, as in take my stuff and go, as in relocate”, Simon replied, the annoyance in his voice making Raphael’s eyebrows tick up in surprise, hands falling to his sides. Raphael wasn’t used to being the one on the end of someone else’s ire.

“You don’t have to pretend this isn’t the best thing for everyone, your clan obviously doesn’t want me here”, Simon said, pausing for a tick after he stressed the end of the sentence, “and neither do you”.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Raphael asked defensively, upset despite himself by the words, almost an accusation. 

“Don’t play stupid Raphael, it doesn’t suit you”, Simon said, suddenly sounding tired as he looked anywhere but at the other, “I’m going to go collect some of my stuff and go”.

Panic shot through Raphael as he darted after the other.

“Wait Simon, calm down”, Raphael pleaded, grabbing onto the back of the others jacket, one of his own jackets actually.

“I am calm”, Simon replied, surprising Raphael as turned around, leaving them almost nose to nose. Raphael had to take a deep breath, ignoring the fact it did absolutely nothing to calm him.

“Look I know you’re upset right now but lets just talk about this”, Raphael said, not stepping back, afraid to break away in case Simon left.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I’m leaving Raphael”, Simon said, shrugging off his hands, which Raphael hadn’t even realized where gripping his arms, and walking away from him.

“Please, don’t leave", Raphael said whispered, swallowing his pride. He watched as Simon faltered, pausing at the entrance to the room, his head cocked to the side as the others words reached him.

Raphael forced himself to look the other in the eye as he turned.

“Why?”, Simon asked, stepping forward almost subconsciously before he halted, leaving meters of space between them.

“Because I… because I don’t want you to”, Raphael said, gaze dropping to the floor. He hated being weak.

“So you want me to stay for you?”, Simon asked, silence falling across the room as his words seemed to almost echo. Raphael looked up as he heard the other move closer.

“Okay”, Simon said, a smile on his face for what seemed like the first time in weeks. Raphael made a vow there and then to keep it there, no matter what.


	6. lazy day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey:) can you do saphael being cute and cuddly on a lazy day?

The sun was just setting outside the Hotel Dumort when Simon woke up. 

He was finally settling into his new routine, helped on by the fact he used to stay up late even back when he was a mundane, but he still struggled to stay asleep for long. He didn’t mind so much though, especially because of the sight that greeted him when he rolled over.

Raphael was sleeping right beside him, pillow clutched between his hands almost like a teddy bear. Simon loved him most like this, eyes sweeping over the plain white t-shirt that peeked out above the sheets, his hair a mass of dark curls.

He looked younger when he slept, almost innocent.

Simon wondered what the others would say if they could see him now, the feared leader of the New York children of the Night, drooling on his pillow while he slept.

Simon couldn’t remember what it was like to wake up alone anymore, and he never wanted to either.

When he focused back on the Raphael again, he realized he was finally starting to wake up, eyelashes fluttering as he did. Simon rolled onto his side, an almost giddy grin on his face as Raphael finally opened his eyes.

The other stared at him for a moment, almost blankly, before he rolled his eyes and turned away, grumbling under his breath. Of course Simon was never that easily deterred. 

“Morning sunshine”, Simon chirped, plastering himself along the others back and tightening his arms when he tried to move away. Anyone else might of thought the nickname was mocking, but Raphael was Simon’s sunshine.

“Go away fledgling”, Raphael groaned, putting up the token resistance that he always did - for appearances sake. Simon didn’t say anything about the way he snuggled back against him.

“You’re so mean to me”, Simon whined, pressing several wet kisses along the back of the others neck, smiling into his clavicle when Raphael let out a squeak. Simon had quickly discovered just how ticklish the other was, something he’d used to his advantage several times already. 

In a flash of an eye Simon found himself on his back, with the other tucked under his arm like nothing had happened.

“Go back to sleep fledgling”, Raphael murmured, pulling on Simon’s shirt to make himself more comfortable. Simon was always impressed by how fast the other could go back to dreamland.

He decided to let him nap for a little longer, arms wrapping tightly around the others shoulders, already making a mental list of which films he’d subject his boyfriend to later. It wasn’t often they had time to themselves, and Simon was determined to make the most of it.


	7. vampire flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saphael prompt: Simon becomes really ill and Raphael trios over himself to take care of his baby.

So it turned out that **vampire flu was a thing** , and unfortunately Simon had found that out the hard way.

It had started out slowly, an almost anxious feeling in his stomach (which wasn’t new to Simon because duh the whole undead dead thing was kind of a bummer) but it’d gradually gotten worse.

He hadn’t been able to feed properly, the blood feeling like ash in my mouth. He’d panicked at first, thinking he was failing as a vampire, but then the aches had started. Everything had hurt.

He’d locked himself up in his room, shivers racking through his body as he lay across his bed. He had started to wonder if he was dying, or if his body was rejecting his new transformation, almost reaching the point of delirium.

The few hours it took Raphael to come looking for him had felt like years.

He’d heard the other approaching for once, each step like a thump instead his head, making Simon trash on the bed - hands clasped over his ears.

The door opened with a screech, and he heard the clack of Raphael’s heels as he moved closer to the bed, a whispered curse slipping from his mouth.

“Simon”, Raphael said, cool hands clasping on his shoulders as his face swam into vision. Simon thought he almost looked worried.

“Idiota”, Raphael cursed, the bed dipping as he sat down beside him, “why didn’t you say anything?”.

“I’m- I”, Simon stuttered, words slurred as he tried to speak through his fangs. Raphael was patient as he brushed Simon’s fringe back out of his eyes, palm pleasantly cool against his feverish skin.

“Shssh”, Raphael said, interrupting him when he saw how much the other was struggling to speak. Simon whined when he felt the other get up, hands reaching blindly towards where he’d just been.

He returned instantly with a glass in his hand, propping Simon up and handing it over. He could smell the blood, but also something different mixed in, making his fangs ache in his gums.

“Drink up, baby”, Raphael prompted, hands rubbing soothingly up and down his back. Simon found it difficult to argue when the other called him that.

The blood spread like flames through his body, soothing the aches that had troubled him until they were nothing but a dull ache.

“I thought I was dying”, Simon whispered hoarsely, glass still clutched in his hands as he looked at the others sympathetic face.

“You just have the flu”, Raphael replied, a ghost of a smirk on his face, “you should of said something”.

“The flu?”, Simon repeated hysterically, a giggle erupting from his throat as the other rolled his eyes. Simon was just glad he wasn’t dying.

“Yes, now lay down and shut up”, Raphael ordered, taking the glass away and pushing at his shoulders until Simon was horizontal on the bed, already feeling better.

When Raphael made to stand up, Simon couldn’t help the way his hand shot out to grab him.

“I’m sorry I just… can you stay for a bit?”, Simon questioned weakly, eyes dropping to the sheets so he wouldn’t have to see the sneer on the others face. He was surprised when Raphael slowly sat back down beside him.

“Alright fledgling, I don’t look after just anyone though”, Raphael grumbled, kicking off his boots and pushing back until he was leaning against the headboard beside Simon.

Simon would forever remember that day, his best ‘innocent’ mask on as he groaned and complained, almost gleeful as he watched the other run around after him. He’d even gotten the other to read him one of his comics, faking a pained look whenever he glanced over.

Raphael would always remember the day that followed, recognizing the symptoms of the flu as he woke up, and cursing the day Simon Lewis was born. He made sure Simon got a taste of his own medicine though, a smirk on his face as the other tripped over himself to do everything Raphael asked.

Revenge was _sweet_.


	8. you heard me. take. it. off

Simon was pissed, Simon was _beyond pissed._

He couldn’t even control his fangs anymore, hands shaking at his sides as he clenched them into fists. Raphael was always so fucking difficult.

“Why don’t you just run off to your little _angel friends_ ”, Raphael hissed angrily, eyes flashing darkly. It probably would of scared him a few weeks ago, but that was Simon was long gone now. Instead he just felt his shackles rise.

“How about you stop being such an ass and just talk to me for once”, Simon shouted, not caring in the slightest that the rest of the clan was probably hanging on to every word. It wasn’t often fights broke out in the hotel.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you fledgling”, Raphael growled, spitting out the word that usually seemed like an endearment. 

“And what should I do? Just go for a walk?”, Simon muttered sarcastically, almost grinding his teeth together at that point. No one had ever made him this angry, the other was just so unreasonable when he got like this.

“And take my jacket off while you’re at it”, Raphael ordered, stepping closer as if to take it off himself, before stopping a few feet away from the other.

Simon looked down at the leather jacket, before looking up stubbornly, making eye contact with the other as he slowly crossed his arms.

“You heard me. Take. It. Off", Raphael growled, flashing forward to grab his own jacket and pull Simon down towards him. A part of Simon was surprised the jacket survived the treatment.

“Make me”, Simon said finally, the words barely out of his mouth before he found himself flying backwards onto the ground - Raphael landing on top of him with force.

The two scrabbled on the floor, limbs tangling together as curses slipped from both their mouths. 

It was only when a rip rang out through the room that they both stilled.

“You ripped my jacket”, Raphael gasped, sounding absolutely scandalized as he straddled the other, eyes trained on the huge tear running along the sleeve.

“I think it’s fair to say you ripped your own jacket”, Simon said, doing his best to keep his voice neutral even as his mouth twitched up in a smile.

The look the other gave him was enough to turn any demon to ash. 

Simon had to quickly promise to buy him a new one, darting out the room with a quick sorry thrown over his shoulder. He may or may have not also brought some flowers, but that was only because he valued his undead life. Yeah… that was why.


	9. i think i’m in love with you and i’m terrified

Simon knew the other was avoiding him, it was just too obvious, but he couldn’t figure out why.

He’d gotten used to spending his time with Raphael, always by his side. At first it was just because he was his new interim assistant whatever (a title Simon still argued over) but after awhile well… it’d just been because he enjoyed the others company.

Yes, Raphael was grumpy, yes, he was impatient, but he was also a lot of other things too that made Simon like him.

Raphael Santiago was actually a good listener, he was helpful, he was sweet under all that ‘barely’ concealed sarcasm and hell, he even made Simon laugh sometimes.

He was also one of the most beautiful people Simon had ever had the pleasure of spending time with - staring at the other when he wasn’t looking had become one of Simon’s favorite pastimes.

That’s why he noticed when the other started to ignore him.

It started off slowly, with the other disappearing more and more during the night, until he was suddenly always busy.

Whenever Simon tried to track him down he was gone somewhere else, ‘sorting some other problem’ or ‘solving some other piece of political intrigue’. Basically he was being a bit of a dick.

What could of been only a week (but what felt like a lot longer) passed before Simon finally snapped. He waited until he knew the other was getting ready for bed before he stormed down the hall towards his room, not bothering to knock before he threw the bedroom door open.

Raphael had looked up at him, shock clear on his face as he sat on the edge of his bed.

Simon had ignored how adorable and confused he looked in his pyjamas to storm up to him, towering over him as he prepared to unleashed a practiced rant.

“How dare you- why did you not just… why are you ignoring me?”, Simon whined, unable to remember what he had originally planned to say as the other blinked up at him.

“I’m not ignoring you”, Raphael replied sullenly, almost definitely pouting as he crossed his arms and looked anywhere but at Simon.

“Yes you are”, Simon grunted, “you won’t spend time with me and whenever I go looking for you, you’re busy!”.

Simon wasn’t placated by how guilty the other looked.

“If you don’t want to spend time with me you could just say so, I know I can be anno-”, Simon started, only to be cut up by the other springing up to stand in front of him.

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified”, Raphael breathed, sounding almost panicked as he grabbed onto Simon’s biceps, nails digging in and likely leaving marks on his pale skin.

“Oh…”, Simon said finally, feeling the anger rush out of him, “that’s it?”.

It was Raphael’s turn to look annoyed.

“That’s it? That’s it?”, Raphael repeated, sounding disgusted by what Simon had said, eyebrows knitting together (adorably a part of Simon’s mind supplied).

“I think I’m in love with you too”, Simon replied easily, a slow smile spreading across his face as he looked at the other, feeling relief flood through his body as he finally confessed his feelings.

It wasn’t the most measured of kisses, but Simon found he didn’t care as he pulled the other closer. They had an _eternity_ to practice.


	10. coming out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love your writing tbh so I was wondering if you could do a saphael were they are coming out to the group and Raphael is chill and Simon is a nervous wreck<3

Simon couldn’t remember a distinct moment growing up when he’d ever questioned his sexuality.

Sure he had always admired others guys, been nervous around the particularly good looking ones, but Simon was nervous around anyone who was good looking.

He hadn’t put much thought in it until he’d met Raphael Santiago.

He stumbled over his words around the other, something that hadn’t worn off even after he realized the other wasn’t going to eat him, probably.

Slowly they’d become friends, and Simon had only become more and more nervous around the other. Not the kind of nervous where he was embarrassed the other might laugh at him if he said something stupid, but the kind of nervous that made him want to always impress the boy.

Nothing made Simon prouder than when Raphael checked him out when he started dressing up, or when Raphael complimented him.

They spent weeks dancing around each other until it finally happened.

Simon had never been so happy as when he finally had Raphael in his arms.

As perfect as everything was, there was one problem, **one big problem**. Simon didn’t like keeping secrets, and he didn’t enjoy hiding his new relationship. 

He didn’t want Raphael to feel like he didn’t appreciate him. Of course when he’d said this to the other he’d only rolled his eyes and told him to take as long as he wanted, “they had eternity after all”.

Simon didn’t want to wait though, he wanted to scream their relationship from the roof of the Hotel Dumort.

That was how he found himself standing outside Taki’s Diner, his boyfriend’s hand clasped in his.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want Simon”, Raphael said, after several moments of silence, “I can just go home and you can wait until you’re ready”.

Simon turned to look at the other, taking in how beautiful he looked bathed in the lights of the city, and made his decision there and then.

Simon didn’t know what he expected when they entered the diner, but he certainly expect Jace to start laughing. He felt anger brewing in his stomach until he saw Alec roll his eyes and fish out some cash from his pocket, handing it to the other with a frown.

“What?”, Simon asked, swallowing his nerves as he locked eyes with Clary, who was smiling softly at him.

“You said you had something to tell us?”, Clary prompted softly, elbowing Jace when he chuckled and instantly reminding Simon why he loved her so much. Raphael looked almost bored when he turned to gesture at him.

“We’re going out”, Simon said, deciding to just get it over with, unable to frown when Raphael smirked back at him. When he turned back to the others they all had shit eating grins on their faces, even Alec looked smug.

“Yeah, we kind of guessed”, Izzy supplied, gesturing to the two empty seats.

Simon didn’t let go of the others hand even as they sat down, almost painfully relieved that others seemed to accept their relationship. 

What followed was a night of laughter, with Simon opening up on their relationship, and Clary explaining how they’d all seen it’d coming from miles away. Simon felt the most alive he ever had, sitting around a table with his new and his old friends, holding hands with the person he wanted to spend eternity with.


	11. marry me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Times Simon Picks The Wrong Moment +1

**1\. Simon makes a joke**

The first time Simon asks Raphael to marry him he says it without thinking. 

He’s half way through the last part of the LOTR trilogy and his stomach is growling, but he refuses to press the pause button – to admit weakness. So when Raphael walks in with a glass of blood (topped stylishly with a lemon this time) Simon lets out a whoop of appreciation that nearly startles the other into dropping said glass.

“Dude, I could totally marry you right now!”, Simon explained, taking the glass away without noticing how flustered the other was. He only looked up when he heard the bedroom door slam shut.

“Weird”, Simon muttered to himself, before quickly forgetting about it as his eyes zeroed back in on the screen. Aragorn was like, the original crush.

**2\. Simon is an idiot**

“Can vampires get married?”, Simon asked one night, not giving the other a chance to reply as he ploughed on, “because I’ve totally been thinking about it”.

Raphael waited an inordinate amount of time before replying, sipping casually on his martini of blood. 

“Why? You planning to propose to your shadowhunter girl?”, Raphael asked, face deadpan as Simon turned to give him the stink eye. Raphael got a certain amount of amusement out of baiting the other.

“No.. it’s just like, for eternity?”, Simon asked slowly, eyes almost owlish as he waited for Raphael to respond.

“I guess, I mean, you don’t have to spend eternity together, there is such a thing as divorce”, Raphael replied, throwing himself down on to the couch with practiced ease – not a single drop spilled from his glass.

“I can’t imagine you..”, Simon started, speaking almost absentmindedly, “though Lily said we’re almost practically married”.

It was Raphael’s turn to blink owlishly. 

“What do you say we make it official?”, Simon joked, turning around only to find the other had disappeared.

With a sigh Simon made his way back up to his room, unaware of the eyes that followed him.

**3\. Simon is still an idiot**

“So I’ve been thinking”, Simon said, ignoring the other when he interrupted to say that was never a good idea, “about eternity”.

Raphael placed his book down with a long suffering sigh, granting the other his full attention. It was his job after all, to listen to his clan. He just hoped it wasn’t something stupid.

“And like, what if I don’t meet someone?”, Simon asked, almost sounding amused by the idea as he fixed his gaze on the other.

“So I was thinking”, Simon continued, once again ignoring the others snarky expression, “that me and you should just get married”.

“Me and you should what?”, Raphael asked, not quiet sure he had heard the other right. It had been months now, and Simon still baffled him.

“Get married, like if there’s no else”, Simon replied easily, as if he wasn’t being an idiot, “make a pact like Joey and Phoebe”.

It was something stupid.

He didn’t deign to respond to the other, just grabbed his book and left – ignoring the peels of laughter that followed him.

If Raphael was still alive he would of blushed.

**4\. Raphael is a bamf ******

“Dude, marry me right now”, Simon ordered, not even stopping to say hello or thank you, as Raphael mourned the death of another designer jacket.

“Not right now, Simon”, Raphael replied dryly, ignoring the curious gazes of the shadowhunters as they drew closer. This was why Raphael hated it when he hung out with the Nephilim, he always seemed to end up in life or death situations.

“Seriously, that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen”, Simon exclaimed excitedly, as he began to act out one or two of the moves Raphael had used to kill the demons.

Raphael watched him with a fond amusement in his eyes, clearing his throat when he realised the shadowhunters were still there.

“I’ll die a happy man right now if you marry me”, Simon said, waving goodbye to the others as he trailed after the leader of the New York clan.

Dios if Simon Lewis wasn’t irritating – irritatingly cute.

**5\. Simon picks the wrong moment**

Raphael is on the ground in a pool of his own blood when Simon asks again.

They had been ambushed, out numbered three to one, and Raphael had thrown himself in front of the other when the rogue werewolf had pounced. 

He didn’t regret it now, watching as Simon scared the rest of the away with an almost feral snarl before rushing back towards him.

“Hey, big guy”, Simon said, almost conversationally, though the way his hands shuck against Raphael’s chest gave him away.

“Hey, come on”, Simon said, cupping his cheeks as Raphael began to blink sluggishly at him, eyes slowly falling shut.

“It’s fine, you’re fine”, Simon continued weakly, “I just text Magnus”.

Raphael’s lips twitched up into a parody of a smile, too tired to reply properly.

“I need you to marry me”, Simon ordered, almost harshly, the declaration sending a jolt through Raphael’s numb body. They’d been going out for years now, but Raphael hadn’t been expecting it. Especially not now.

“No..”, Raphael gasped weakly, and he would of smirked at the affronted look that appeared on the others face if he had the energy. 

“I’ll only accept if you do it properly”, Raphael explained, watching as the others face morphed into understanding.

Then he passed out.

**+1 Simon picks the perfect moment**

Raphael had almost forgotten about his near death experience when it happened.

Simon had disappeared all night, telling the other not to wait up on him as he did. That didn’t mean he couldn’t worry of course – Simon had an awful habit of nearly getting himself killed every time he stepped foot outside the hotel (and sometimes inside it too).

Raphael was wandering through the halls, wondering jobs needed doing, when he hurt a faint noise.

It sounded like the chime of guitar strings.  
He followed the noise down the hall, stopping outside his own study. He could smell Simon now.

The door clicked open easily, and the music stopped, as he stepped in to find Simon sitting in a loveseat by the fire.

He smiled when he saw him.

“Hey baby”, Simon said, motioning to the spot beside him, and smiling even wider when Raphael complied.

“I wrote a song for you”, he said, fingers gently plucking at the strings, as he waited for Raphael to nod.

Raphael had always loved the others voice, but he hung on to every word as he listened to the other sing about a beautiful boy who’d stolen his heart and was keeping it safe.

Raphael didn’t even realize he was crying until the song finished, until Simon gently cupped his face and brushed the blood away with his thumbs.

“I hope this is the last time I have to ask you”, Simon said, propping his guitar against the arm of the chair, as he slid down onto one knee, “but will you, Raphael Santiago, do me the pleasure of being my husband?”.

Raphael nodded shakily, giving the other his hand and watching as the ring into place, like it’d been made for him.

“Magnus helped”, Simon explained, his face split wide in a grin Raphael knew was mirrored on his own.

“Well, fiancé, how about we take this back to our room”, Simon said, breaking (but not really because Raphael knew who he was marrying) the moment as he winked up at him.

His yelp echoed through the hotel when Raphael walloped over the head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes!


	12. home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please do a saphael fic with happy ending :(

For the first time in weeks Simon stood outside the Hotel Dumort and felt like a stranger. 

He didn’t know how he’d end up here, his feet carrying him as his mind wandered. 

He’d almost forgotten what it meant to be a child of the night, but had been quickly reminded, as he fielded the glares of the other shadowhunters in the Institute, and Clary had said goodnight to him as she went into her room. 

It’d been weeks since he’d spent the nights alone. 

Raphael. 

That was why his feet had carried him here.

People crossed in front of him as he stood frozen, staring up at the hotel. He wondered if Raphael knew he was there, a small part of him hoping that he did. He was only slowly starting to realize what he’d lost, who he’d lost.

“Move it”, someone grumbled, shouldering past him. Simon didn’t bother turning to see who it was, too absorbed as he stood rooted to the spot.

He wondered again, what would happen if he went up and knocked on the door, before quickly discarding the thought. He didn’t doubt that the other hated him now, after all Simon had picked the shadowhunters over him, and he knew Raphael had felt that betrayal deeply.

His eyes stung as he turned away, and made his way back down the street. He didn’t particularly have anywhere to go, as he let his feet lead him away from the hotel. Raphael would of chastised him for letting his guard down as he turned down an alley, ignoring the group he saw huddled there, boots splashing through the water gathered in puddles across the battered ground.

He heard them call after him, voices braying as they jeered at him, but Simon ignored them - they’d have some shock coming their way if they tried anything.

It was only when he heard rustling behind him that he turned around, the sigh on his lips dying as he saw who it was.

“Raphael”, Simon breathed, unable to stop himself from stepping closer until he remembered why he hadn’t entered the hotel.

He was just as beautiful as Simon remembered, features shadowed in the darkness of the alley.

“Simon”, he replied, making Simon take a breath he didn’t need. He loved the sound of his name on the other’s tongue.

Everything he’d wanted to say seemed to fall from the mind now he finally had the other in front of him, head tipped to the side as he seemed to contemplate him.

“What are you doing here Simon?”, Raphael asked finally, clearly irritated by the silence that was dragging out between them. He realized suddenly, that the other had never called him Simon. He wasn’t sure he liked the circumstances it has arisen under.

“I don’t know”, Simon said, panicking at the anger that appeared on the others face, “I wanted to see you”.

Raphael finally looked at him, really looked at him, unable to hide the surprise in his eyes.

“You wanted to see me?”, Raphael asked, “after you betrayed our clan?”.

Simon’s undead heart skipped a beat at the use of ‘our’, and Raphael must of realized what he’d said as well, already taking a step back.

Simon didn’t let him get far though, before he appeared in front of him, uncaring if anyone saw them as they passed the alley. He would of ran through Times Square with his fangs out to get the others forgiveness.

“I did, I acted rashly and I wished it could of happened differently”, Simon said, ignoring his instincts as he gripped the others arm, “but I never wanted to hurt the clan… to hurt you”.

“Simon”, Raphael started, lip caught between his feet as his eyes flickered up and down the others face, at a lose for words.

“Please, give me a chance to prove I’m sorry”, Simon begged, watching the others façade crumble before him, a part of him glad he could still get through.

“I can’t just-“, Raphael said, stopping abruptly, and throwing his head back with a long suffering sigh. There was a smile on his face when he finally looked back down at him, and the relief Simon felt was almost dizzying. 

"It’ll take time”, Raphael said, reluctantly pulling from his grip. Simon’s hands fell awkwardly to his sides, unsure what to do as he watched the other step away.

“I have eternity”, Simon replied easily, a smile appearing as he saw the others brows tick up in surprise. It probably said a lot that he was happy to see the other looking at him with exasperation again.

Simon watched him walk away, the words he’d wanted to say flying through his mind. He’d have time now.

“Well, what are you standing there for?”, Raphael called back to him, “first you’ll have to apologize to Stan for tricking him”.

Simon chased after him with a grin, and didn’t stop smiling as he shadowed the other back to the hotel. It seemed even immortals could get second chances.


	13. wishing i could hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, are you still taking prompts? If you are, would you please write something with 29 "i thought you were dead" or with 36 "i wish i could hate you"? thank you

When Raphael feels a sharp tug in his chest, he knows instantly that it’s Simon.

He’s the only who isn’t in the hotel right now, Raphael knows that because he’s just done the rounds and none of the others have headed out yet.

He stands frozen with indecision in the middle of his bedroom, hand clutched against his aching chest.

Simon isn’t his responsibility anymore. Simon shouldn’t of ever been his responsibility.

Still he finds an almost sickening anxiety building in his stomach, and doesn’t think about what he’s doing as he grabs his jacket and slips from the hotel.

He follows the tug in his chest, the same tug that had been there since Raphael had taken the other under his wing, until he arrives at a debilitated looking warehouse near the river.

He feels his fangs dig into his gums as he thinks of the reason Simon is probably here - the redheaded shadowhunter.

The same one Simon had chosen over him.

A cruel part of him wonders if he should leave Simon here to die at her hands, punishment for taking her side, but he quickly dismisses the thought. His mother had raised him a good Christian. 

The place stinks of fear and blood inside, Simon’s blood.

The irrational fear blossoms again in his stomach as he makes his way deeper inside the building. His undead heart stops when he sees Simon.

He’s laying there in a pool of his own blood, looking pale and human as ever on the concrete floor.

There’s a body nearby, and he can hear the singing whistle of seraph blades and arrows, but he ignores this all as he darts closer, kneeling over Simon’s still body.

The blood is seeping into his graphic t-shirt, and there’s a cut standing out on his forehead. Raphael’s hand jerks down to cup the side of his face, thumb sweeping through the blood that falls from the gash.

When Simon’s eyes flutter open, Raphael feels his world stop as Simon sees him for the first time in weeks.

“Raph”, he croaks, voice pained.

Raphael has to force himself not pull away, a different type of pain in his chest as he thinks of what they used to be, how Simon used to always call him that.

“You’re bleeding out”, Raphael informed him plainly, his voice coming out as callous and bored - everything he didn’t feel.

“I guess I am”, Simon sighed, sounding almost amused as his lips twitched up in a parody of a smile.

“I thought you were dead", Raphael snapped, his fangs bursting through his gums now, annoyed by the others lack of care for his own precious life.

He realized slowly that he hadn’t moved his hand from where it cradled the others face, pulling it away as if burned.

Raphael’s lips pursed together as he looked away, ears picking up the sound of the shadowhunters still fighting, as he made a quick decision.

The other was just as heavy as he remembered as he swept him up into his arms, ignoring the others gasp of pain.Simon buried his face against Raphael’s jacket, hand clutching weakly on his shirt.

“You’re a nightmare”, Raphael sighed, looking down at the others pained face as he carried him out of the warehouse. He didn’t seem to have even heard him.

By the time Raphael got back to the hotel, he knew Simon didn’t have long left. He ignored the calls of the others as he sped up to his own room, placing the other down on his expensive bed sheets with a grimace. 

There weren’t many people would ruin his furniture for.

He ignored how the other reached from him when he pulled away, going to gather the blood he had stored in his room in case something like this happened.

He handed the blood bags over and watched Simon struggle to rip them open, baring his fangs and snatching it back when Simon fumbled and dropped it. He ignored the others muttered thanks when he opened it for him, mourning his bed sheets as they were covered in blood.

“I thought you hated me”, Simon said, breaking the tense silence that fallen over them. He looked better already, though there was sullen look on his face that made Raphael want to roll his eyes.

"I wish I could hate you”, Raphael sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, facing away from the other. He heard the sharp intake of breath behind him as Simon’s hand landed on his shoulder.

Reluctantly Raphael let himself be turned, opening his mouth to say something cutting when the others lips collided with his own.

It was a hard press of lips, barely a kiss, and Simon instantly pulled away when he tensed up.

“I’m sorry, I just, I thought-”, Simon stuttered, hand wringing the end of his blood soaked t-shirt nervously.

Raphael cut him off with his lips, swallowing the words as he swept his tongue across the blood that lingered there.

It was a method Raphael would use to shut the other up for years and years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long, i'm busy! also i apologize for any mistakes, i'm knackered right now


	14. kiss me

It takes Simon months to realise he’s in love, but once he does it all he can think about.

He starts to recognize the feeling that arises in his stomach every time he looks at Raphael, finally able to understand his own body.

He’s not sure when it happened, maybe during the quiet hours they spend together, or maybe it was during one of his many rants when he’d catch Raphael looking at him with something soft in his eyes.

Simon doesn’t know when it happened, but he finds he doesn’t particularly care.

Not when he has the other so close to him.

He can’t help the way he gravitates closer, like Raphael is his sun and he is starving, starving for the others touch. He knows Raphael doesn’t like him, but he can’t help but move closer.

After awhile Raphael doesn’t seem to mind as much anymore, leans into his hand when it once again finds it’s way down on to the small of his back.

Simon spends all of his time with Raphael, sees less of Clary even, but it’s worth it for the way the other starts to relax around him.

Slowly he lets his guard down around him, not seeming to notice anymore when Simon spends too long admiring him. He doesn’t seem to mind either when Simon sits beside him, thighs touching, or when he places an arm around the back of the couch.

Simon knows it’s sad, and twisted, but being close to the other makes him happy. Especially when Raphael smiles at him, really genuinely smiles.

He doesn’t think Raphael will ever notice how he feels, until he does.

Simon is regaling him with the plot of particularly interesting comic he’d once read, when they reach their rooms. Simon had only meant to walk him upstairs, but he finds Raphael leaning against the wall and patiently waiting for him to finish.

Simon instantly crowds closer, almost unaware of what he’s doing because Raphael doesn’t react.

He only realizes when he swings his hand up and it brushes against Raphael’s stomach.

He pauses, words dying in his mouth, as he takes in just how close Raphael is – his eyes fluttering up and down the other’s face.

Raphael too seems frozen, breath puffing out against Simon’s chin.

Surprisingly it’s Raphael who breaks the silence.

“Kiss me”, he whispers, and any doubts Simon has disappear from his mind as he presses their lips together.

Raphael’s back presses against the wall as Simon strains impossibly closer, tongue swiping across the others plush bottom lip.

Raphael’s hands feel warm as they cup his neck, slowing down the tempo as Simon squeezes his waist.

Simon isn’t sure how long they spend kissing, lips numb when they finally break apart for air they don’t need. Simon is shocked again by just how beautiful Raphael is.

“I’m glad you decided to listen for me for once”, Raphael murmurs, and this time it was Simon who orders the other to kiss him – a task Raphael happily compiles with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm nearly finished college for this year!! and i've started an au as well so look out for that (i still haven't decided if it'll be chaptered or if it'll be a longfic)


	16. you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary makes graffiti on city walls and Simon goes with her. One night they hear the siren of a police car and run, but Simon gets caught. He tries to explain that he's not the one making graffiti, he can't even draw a dog, but he starts babbling, because, oh dear, police officer Raphael Santiago and his uniform are distracting him :)))))

It’s a well known fact that Clary has Simon wrapped around her finger. 

She’s gotten it into her head about a new social issue that needs to heard about, and Simon admires her drive, really, but what he doesn’t appreciate is how she goes about it. Simon would rather be anywhere else in the world than standing beside Clary in a dark alley as she sprays graffiti all over wall.

He keeps watch over her as she works, and to do this day he still doesn’t know who spotted them. 

Years of ballet had made Clary quick on her feet, so when a police cars pulls up she disappears down the alley without so much as a by your leave, and leave Simon squinting at headlights. (Clary spends weeks apologizing about this, even when Simon tells her it’s forgotten about)

When he sees Raphael for the first time, Simon wonders if he’s dreaming because God.

“Is this your masterpiece then?”, he’d asked, gesturing at the abandoned bag and half finished mural. Simon had felt his knees weaken when the other raised unimpressed eyebrow.

Raphael hadn’t appreciated his gaping, and had loaded him into the back of the car with a frown on his face that could of turned Simon to stone. Except he was too busy gaping.

Luke had not been happy to see him.

Just like Raphael hadn’t been happy to see him again the next night, standing in the same alley, with a bag full of spray paint cans strapped to his back, and absolutely no clue what he was trying to achieve.

‘Technically’ he hadn’t been doing anything, but Raphael didn’t seem to care as he forced him into the back of the car again, looking resigned this time round.

Luke had taken one look at him before sighing and calling Raphael over.

Luke also turned out to be the best ever, because he convinced Raphael to give Simon his number, so that he can text him the next time he thinks about vigilante crime.

Simon thinks about vigilante crime a lot after that.

Eventually Raphael agrees to go out with him, but he hits Simon over the back of the head when he suggests he wear his uniform over. (It’s okay though, Simon’s patient)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exam season has done weird things to me


	17. no, let me pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon: "let me pay", saphael please

Raphael and Simon are both silent as they trudge down the street.

Neither felt particularly like talking after their encounter with a rogue werewolf. Especially Raphael, who’d lost another designer jacket, and was being thrown concerned looks by most of the people they passed.

It was the middle of the night, and winter to boot.

Simon had thought of offering the other his own jacket several times, but each time he reminded himself that Raphael would probably tear him a new one.

Also that he didn’t even feel the cold.

Still, it felt wrong to be walking beside him while Raphael was in a thin t-shirt, and he was wrapped up in one of his jackets.

When he saw Taki’s ahead, he had an idea.

“Hey Raph”, Simon said, ignoring the others protests at the nickname, “can we stop for something to drink”.

“But you drank before we-”, Raphael started, only to trail off with a sigh when he saw Simon’s pleading expression.

“Fine”, Raphael said, “lead the way”.

Simon had been there a few times before, with the shadowhunters and once with Clary, so he led him over to his usual booth.

He contemplated sitting beside Raphael for a moment, before realizing that’d definitely come across as weird.

So instead he settled for grinning at him from across the table, not deterred at all by the others blank expression.

“What can I get for you guys”, the waitress asked, the name Kaelie embossed on her name tag - a faerie from what Simon could smell.

He’d gotten better at figuring that kind of stuff out, thanks to Raphael.

“We’ll just have some blood”, Raphael said, before Simon could even take a look at the menu, and hey, rude.

He didn’t say anything though, because Raphael looked really tired.

The kind of tired that had him slumping back in his seat, his usual rigidness abandoned.

Neither of them spoke as they waited for their order, with Raphael staring resolutely at the table, and Simon’s eyes tracking everyone who came through the door, with an excitement that spoke of his newness to their world.

He could smell their blood before it even exited the kitchen, fangs slipping out from his gums.

He was almost surprised by his own hunger, because Raphael had forced a glass on him before they went out on their patrol, but he had probably expended some energy during the fight.

Simon chugged it after sending a quick thank you to Kaelie, but Raphael nursed his, leaning forward so the glass was cradled against his chest.

Simon was starting to get worried about the other now.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt your brooding”, Simon said, and wow, talk about smooth, “but are you okay?”.

It seemed to snap Raphael out of whatever trance he’d fallen over, as he abruptly stood up from the booth, and began patting himself down for his wallet.

Simon was about to complain that the other hadn’t even finished his drink, when a curse slipped from Raphael’s lips.

“My wallet”, he sighed, “it was in my jacket”.

Simon would of laughed at any other time, about how petulant the other looked, but he could feel now wasn’t the time.

“It’s cool, I have money”, Simon said, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. He couldn’t really go to his mother for money anymore, but Luke always slipped him money whenever they met up.

Raphael tried to stop him, getting in his way and opening his mouth to unleash some likely titillatingly argument about why he should vampire speed his way home just to come back and pay because he was the ‘interim chapter president’ - and Simon really wasn’t exaggerating. 

“No, I’m paying”, Simon said, cutting him off before he could start. Raphael deflated when he patted his arm, and didn’t protest this time as he went up to pay.

It seemed colder when they stepped back outside, and impossibly, Raphael seemed even more drained.

It upset Simon, that the other seemed so worn-out, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

“So”, Simon said, trying to sound casual as he edged closer to the other, “plans for the rest of the night?”.

Smooth.

“I probably have paper work I should be doing”, Raphael replied, side-eyeing him, but not creating space between them as they walked, which Simon totally took as a win.

“Well, personally”, Simon said, “I think you should spend some time with me”.

At that, Raphael turned to glare at him head on.

“What do you think this is?”, he asked drily.

“This isn’t-”, Simon spluttered, horrified, “going out on patrol and getting attacked by a werewolf doesn’t count out as ‘hanging out’”.

Simon wanted to hit his head against the wall when Raphael looked surprised.

“Oh”, Raphael said, looking considering now, “I guess we could do something”.

And God if he wouldn’t come to regret the power he’d just given Simon. 

Without thinking, Simon slipped off his jacket, coming up behind the other and placing it over his shoulders.

Raphael froze as the fabric settled on to him, staring back at Simon with surprise clear on his face.

“You looked cold”, Simon said breathlessly, suddenly realizing just how close they were, as his chest brushed against Raphael’s back.

“Vampires don’t get cold, Simon”, Raphael replied softly, fingers coming up to clutch at the jacket.

He didn’t take it off though.

The walk back to the hotel was filled with chatter this time, as Simon shot off several suggestions about what they could watch, while Raphael bemoaned his acceptance of the whole thing.

Simon found the same jacket, freshly pressed and hanging on his door the next night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> struggling with some long fics at the moment, so here, have a drabble with no real purpose haha


	18. it's fine, stop worrying about me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #6 "I'm fine, stop worrying about me"
> 
> note: simon is injured in this one!

“It’s fine, stop worrying about me”

Simon fell against the wall with a cut-off gasp.

He hadn’t thought about what he was doing, as he threw himself in front of Raphael. He’d barely heard Clary’s cry of horror over the shooting pain that lanced up his side - the demon’s claws digging into the flesh of his stomach.

He didn’t regret it though, even now. The demon had been aiming for Raphael’s chest.

The fight was over now, and no one else seemed to be hurt, except Alec, who was carrying a slight limp after being knocked over by one of the demons. 

Simon was sure Magnus would look after him though.

Speaking of being looked after, Simon could practically feel Raphael staring at him. The weight of his gaze was heavy with what was unspoken between them, about what Simon had just done.

His vision swam in front of him as Raphael stepped closer, the click of his boots seeming impossibly loud.

It was like time sped up, as Raphael appeared in front of him, voice worrying in his ear as he pressed Simon back against the wall.

“-you hear me?”, Raphael asked, swimming back into focus in front of him, “are you okay?”.

Simon didn’t answer straight away, taking a moment to let the room stop swimming.

“Simon, your side”, Raphael gasped, fingering the drenched material of Simon’s shirt, with something Simon thought might of been worry? Maybe?

Or maybe he was delirious.

“It’s fine, stop worrying about me”, Simon said, proud of how his voice didn’t shake as he tried to smile convincingly at the other.

“It’s not fine”, Raphael replied harshly, hands fretting over him. 

It made Simon feel warm inside, something he hadn’t felt in a while, to have the other so close - his face twisted with worry over him.

Unfortunately, like most things in Simon’s life, he didn’t get long to enjoy it.

Magnus appeared in the warehouse with a flourish, dressed like he was on his way to a party (which he probably was).

He took one look at Raphael’s face and opened a portal. 

Simon vaguely heard something about “demon poison” and “bed rest”, but he blanked it all out and focused on the feeling of Raphael’s body resting under his arm and huh- when did that happen?

He didn’t recognize the bed that appeared as they stepped through the portal, but he didn’t protest as Raphael helped him sit down on the edge.

He did make a sound of protest when Raphael used his nails to slice open his t-shirt though, because it was one of his favorites, and it’d be fine with a few stitches. Maybe.

He’d have to ask Clary later, for the sake of his argument. 

Simon didn’t notice Raphael leaving, but he was suddenly kneeling in front of him again with a wet cloth, and he was unerringly gently as he cleaned Simon’s wound.

When he finished he helped Simon lie down.

He realized suddenly, that this was Raphael’s bed, and hide a silly smile against the pillow.

When the other made to move away, Simon’s hand shot out to grab his wrist.

“Hey”, Simon said, unsure exactly what he was asking for as he pulled him closer.

Raphael seemed to understand though, as he kicked off his shoes and climbed on to the bed beside him.

There was meters of space, and Simon would make fun of Raphael later for how fancy his room was, but the other curled up right beside him - close enough for Simon to reach out and touch him.

He stilled his hand though, and stared up at ceiling until he slowly started to drift off.

When he woke up again during the night, Raphael was still there, still as he slept.

It brought a smile to Simon’s face, as he twisted onto his now healed side, and curled towards the other.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another one, hope you guys enjoy this!


	19. five stages of grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> turns out there might be a sixth stage

denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. those were the five stages of grief, to which raphael could testify.

having simon lewis betray him was not something raphael had expected. he knew, deep down, that simon loved the shadowhunter girl. he just didn’t expect it to happen like it did. he tried to bend, tried to appease simon where he could, but it turned out that it wasn’t enough in the end.

simon still betrayed him, and it hurt.

raphael didn’t expect simon to forsake him, and he didn’t expect the pain that followed either. he couldn’t believe the sweet boy who’d made his home inside the hotel has turned his back on them. he tried to deny it, tried to ignore it, but even he couldn’t deny the truth looking in his face when it happened.

he was furious. so very, very angry. it was the kind of anger that had built slowly in his stomach, and made the base of his teeth ache inside his gums. it made his restraint slip, because raphael wanted to hurt simon like simon had hurt him. he wanted to make him burn, wanted to teach him regret, but he couldn’t.

he tried to reason with himself then, tried to tell himself that he would of done the same, would of acted the same. it wasn’t true. raphael put those in the hotel first, because no one else would. no one else cared enough.

then came the overwhelming sadness. raphael had trusted simon, had thought he’d finally accepted his past, had thought he was becoming part of the family. it hurt that it wasn’t true, wasn’t real. ‘monster’, raphael heard, and did simon really think it was true?

it took him time, took him pain, but eventually raphael accepted what had happened, because it wasn’t his fault. simon hadn’t accepted himself, hadn’t accepted the clan’s open arms, and raphael couldn’t change that. he couldn’t make simon love himself. couldn’t help him realize the truth.

unfortunately simon didn’t respect the five stages of grief, because he stormed back into raphael’s life with impudence. it turned out that the timeline of grief wasn’t so linear, wasn’t so set in stone, and simon wanted him to reach the next step. simon wanted his forgiveness.

raphael raged and raged at him, how dare he ask so freely for something he didn’t deserve. ‘i’ll make myself worthy’ simon said, and he tried, oh how he tried. raphael couldn’t turn him away for much longer, and both of them knew it.

it turned out that there could be a sixth stage, and that forgiveness was much sweeter than grief.

raphael knew it wasn’t perfect, knew it wasn’t exactly right, but it didn’t hurt as much anymore, and maybe one day it could be right. maybe one day it could be perfect. with simon lewis by his side it seemed easier. seemed brighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's just call this a self prompt! also pan!simon has gotten me feeling all kinds of ways


End file.
